If you are a regular reader (a big thank you by the way) you might wonder why I keep writing these pieces but actually do not follow through with my own bucket list. The answer is I have been working on it but didn't manage to complete a full item yet. I'm almost ready to play Love you till the End by the Pogues on the guitar. Today I spotted a tattoed Sri Lankan but alas, Sri Lankan is not Indian which is why of course it doesn't count. Yesterday I spent the afternoon chasing after a football amidst a team of athletic 20 year olds trying to shoot a goal because it's on my list. I missed the goal by inches once but otherwise there wasn't much to brag about. It would have been nice to score but in a way it just showed me that I'll have to practice more and maybe join a club again. It's strange being a-has-been at something you have loved so much throughout your life. Yesterday before the game I was getting changed, putting on the shinguards, the socks and my beautiful soccer shoes. It felt like a ritual that I was overjoyed to engage again in after many years. This feeling made me realize that I can't write it off just because of age, weight or overall fitness level. Rather I should regard it as a rite of passage.
I came across this concept a few days ago. Of course I knew that these rituals existed but I never gave much thought to them. Justin Sandercoe, a youTube guitar teacher who happens to also instruct Katie Melua, mentioned that playing the F chord on the guitar is a bit like a rite of passage. If you are serious about playing the guitar you have to master it, even if you struggle for a while and everybody does. In fact while you practice this chord you get weird ideas such as whether the F chord and the F word have something in common, whether replacing your finger joints with artificial ones might be possible or wishing to perform liposuction on the left index finger so it could barre properly. What this reminded me of was when I started learning the piano 14 years ago and my teacher told me to play independently with both hands. At first it was an anatomical impossibility. I tried and tried and my fingers would just not comply. One day out of the blue the neurons had forged the necessary connections in my brain and from then on I didn't understand how I had once been unable to do different things with my both hands at the same time. One day in the not so distant future that will be the case with the F chord.
Too often I hear people giving up things or not even trying them because they have no talent. Obstacles such as a difficult chord or being the unfittest on the team lead them to give up with the excuse that because they didn't manage these things, they're clearly not gifted enough. Reframing an obstacle to a rite of passage makes the difficulties you encounter part of a natural process instead of a reason to give up. It says "it's normal that you struggle at times but persevere because it's worth it". What could you reframe this way instead of walking away?
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